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Post by Enamoril on Apr 20, 2011 18:18:06 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Page 50- " Let God Linneus's horses drag God Mercutio through the mud, as he and Goddess Claret has sullied the holy day that should have been God Linneus's and God Atros's lovemaking upon the counter. Let them drageth him over the rocks and strip him of skin, as he will love it, and it will give us all the greatest satisfaction.
Let God Linneus forever call Goddess Claret fat, for she hath deserved it.
Amen"
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Post by Enamoril on Apr 20, 2011 18:29:27 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Page 43- "And then God Atros said unto Linneus that he must fork over his jewelry that Liard hath bought him, for Liard has been cast from the Gods and to own his gift is poison... so sayeth Atros. Gentle as God Linneus is, he hath complied with the sweetest of blush and temper.
Yae, let us pray that someday, Atros will find love in Linneus. "
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Post by Enamoril on May 1, 2011 1:05:04 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Page 51- "By the superior grace that is God Reed's money onto God Atros, young God Rory has risen forth to take his rightful place in God Axis's room. By the Gods, there will be endless whining and relentless bitching in which it will accuseth poor young unexperienced God Rory of being 'queer'. Tender as God Rory is, perhaps he will become friends with God Axis by not takething his deserved place in the top earner's room. Or perhaps he will; ironic fate be a bitch. Amen."
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Post by Enamoril on May 1, 2011 1:15:51 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Pages 41-42- "God Rhys makes love into God Axis until he hath become incoherent. And the world did sing praise upon their name as Saint Lamp himself illuminated the scene with its warm light. May the sacrifice of Saint Lamp never be forgotten, for without its sacrifice there would hath been no light for teadrinkers to see by during the most thorough submission of God Axis. Praise be Saint Lamp. Amen."
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Post by Enamoril on May 1, 2011 15:47:43 GMT -5
Chapter 1: Pages 19-20- "Goddess Lilith comes to stealeth God Linneus's love, God Atros, away from him. Though God Atros is, by general admission of Teadrinkers and the Canon alike, an asshole and would therefore shant be good for God Linneus, this fact is mourned by Teadrinkers, and has earned Goddess Lilith the title of 'The Bitch' by many. Yae, let us all pray that God Linneus finds his way into God Atros's heart, and The Bitch move and get out the way. Amen."
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Post by Enamoril on May 8, 2011 15:25:04 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Page 52- " The balance of power within the Gods hath been shifted, as God Rory's temper has outwitted God Axis's horrible ranting and the calling of names. Now God Rory hath risen above God Axis, and will forevermore be at odds with him. Thou might regret thine decision, God Rory, when you discover the cum and burn stains on the carpet. Meanwhile in God Axis's horrible rage, may many more objects in the Heaven of Teahouse be Sainted for our pleasure. Amen."
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Post by Enamoril on May 12, 2011 6:02:51 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Page 53- " And unto God Rory God Mercutio hath told him, in lesser words, that he be-eth a pansy who could not stomacheth his role in the Heaven of Teahouse, but God Rory does not lament such a fate; for if he were as perverse or as bold as God Mercutio, then God Mercutio would be worshiped less and he more by those who otherwise would follow God Mercutio. He also hath not lamented it, because if he hath that ability, he would hath lost God Reed's cold attentions... thou mighst wonder why God Rory would want such affections, but in the book of Canon it is clear why he hath accepted; God Rory wishes to give God Axis the bitch slapping that many would pay their virginity to do. In the book of Crack, however, he hath done so for the sake of slaying Reed's enormous pants snake. Perhaps this is all speculation; none may say. Though there is one thing we Tealovers can agree upon; wtf is up with the woman in the picture? Amen."
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Post by Enamoril on May 22, 2011 2:26:06 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Page 54- " And the Creators hath spoke onto us that the Teal lady God Rory imagined wherein God Rory released his mighty juice for God Reed's amusement was, indeed, his sister. Many Tealovers lament this day, and some hath left the faith, proclaiming the Creators to be sick and unholy for hath ever creating such a mental image. Is thoust latest plot twist the fourth test of the Tealover's faith in Teahouse? Is thy first haveth been God Liard's bruise upon God Linneus? Is thy second test be, perhaps, God Reed's title of Rapist? Is thy third be the doll top shirt that emphasized Goddess Claret's less than flattering features? One thing is for sure... the book of Canon is the law... and if it twernt for these tests, thine most faithful would never be discovered. And for these trials, we praise the Creators, because it is everything that makes the Teahouse GREAT is its originality. All praise the Creators! Oh, and our new Saint Book as well. May he forever thusly unveil unto us PLOT! Amen."
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nelle
High Earning Member
Highway Unicorn
Posts: 185
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Post by nelle on May 22, 2011 3:42:00 GMT -5
Yae, I repent my distrust of thine creators of Teahouse Heaven, for thine areth the ultimate deity of plot and originality. Thus mine will is to pass the test of faith, and remain within the circle of Teadrinkers.
Amen.
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Post by Enamoril on Aug 21, 2011 4:28:19 GMT -5
Chapter 2: Page 55- " Tis a woeful night in the Heaven of Teahouse-- wherein God Linneus's dream of delivering upon God Atros his tea in effort to become closer to his beloved backfired. Thou foul thunks, how you mock thy Linneus's love. Thou foul Goddess Lilith, who art more whore and bitch now than everhast been before. Thine Tealovers forgiveth you your trespass upon God Linneus's heart, as you are, essentially, only causing second hand damage.
Nay, tis God Atros's fault, for haveth ignored Linneus's feelings and hast put him in the situation wherein he suffers the love of him. Let us all pray that someday, God Atros will learn how to shut the damn door. Amen."
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Post by Enamoril on Aug 21, 2011 4:39:15 GMT -5
Chapter 3: Page 61-63- " Thine God Atros has discovered his error with God Linneus, for he hath received the dreaded cold shoulder for a week, and has proceeded to corner him within his office. God Linneus's fury is tinged with sadness, of which many Tealovers sympathize and curse God Atros for. Many wish upon this day that Linneus would hath struck at Atros, therefore transcending the barrier of the Teahouse Heaven hierarchy... but perhaps it is best that he did not, as it would hath angered Atros rather than proceed to make him feel the deservethed guilt.
Run, God Linneus. Run from God Atros and make him feel the pain he hath inflicted upon you. And as a prayer for this day-- all Tealovers shalt pray that you not only learn how to shut the door, God Atros -seeing as you made Goddess Argent do it this time-, but you also learn how to open the door to let in the love that is Linneus. Amen."
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